Grief Management

Text Box: BereavementText Box: How long will I feel like this?             The grief process is different for everyone, and the length of time to expect is undetermined. It is important that you do not rush the grief process, and allow yourself to experience the emotions associated with your loss. Talking generally helps release these emotions, and seeking counseling is suggested. Friends and family members can also be important support systems. It is also important to take care of yourself. Getting adequate rest, eating healthy meals, and getting exercise all ways to take care of yourself. If you feel like you are stuck in any of the grief stages, please seek professional help.             It is also important to remember that partaking in unhealthy behaviors (using drugs or alcohol to numb the pain) is only a temporary solution that carries unfortunate risks, and only prolongs the grief process.  If you find yourself needing a chemical (drug or alcohol) to numb the uncomfortable and overwhelming pain associated with loss, please seek professional help.   Text Box: Normal Emotional Reactions to Grief We all experience grief differently. Here are some common emotional reactions that might take place in the grief process: Anger and frustration (at yourself, the deceased, higher powers) ·         Relief that the suffering is over ·         Guilt that you survived ·         Anxiety or worry ·         Numbness ·         Desire to be alone   Text Box: What is grief?   We are all confronted with grief and loss at some point in our lives. Whether a loss be unexpected, inevitable, complicated, etc, we must allow ourselves to process the emotional reactions that we instinctually and naturally experience. Sometimes these feelings surface unexpectedly, or in an uncomfortable manor. It is important to understand that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to experience this process, and it is different for everyone. There are many different types of situations or events that can trigger feelings of loss. Many people experience loss by the death of a family member, friend or relative, but loss can also be experienced through the break-up of a romantic relationship, the death of a loved one, moving to a new place (leaving a familiar location), etc. If you feel like you are stuck somewhere in the grief process and you want additional help, please come by the Counseling Office for more information or call (409) 740-4736 to make an appointment. For a printable brochure on Grief and Loss   Text Box: Stages of Grief (Adapted from the Counseling Center Webpage for Texas State University) Different stages in grief have been identified but don't necessarily have to occur in any special order. Grief is a necessary process to heal after a loss and any variety of emotions are a "normal" part of that experience. When a loss occurs it is important to recognize the loss. Often people will ignore the loss, act as if nothing happened. Sometimes this is referred to as "denial." Although it is normal, unfortunately denial doesn't make the reality of healing. Sometimes what looks like denial is really shock, disbelief that the loss has occurred even if the loss was anticipated. Someone may operate in "auto pilot" for a while before the full impact of the loss is felt. What seems to be opposite reaction is emotional release, which is a huge display of emotion. Memories of the lost person or object can produce feelings that are overwhelming and sometimes lead to depression. A person can also experience a stage of anxiety in which they may have disturbing dreams and many unanswered questions such as, "Why me (her\him)?" and "What if...?". Physical symptoms including headaches, fatigue, insomnia or stomach upset can develop as a result of the depressing and anxiety or even mimicking the manner of loss. Anger toward the lost person or object and hostility toward others is quite common in the grief process. People often also feel guilt about their negative feelings and\or things they "should" have said or done. A variety of fears can arise until the healing of memories can begin. Letting go of the pain, not the person is important in the stage. Finally, a process of acceptance is necessary for the wound to heal. Healing takes time and although many people think that grief should be over by a year or so this is rarely the case. Healing does not mean that you will never experience sadness about the loss again, it means you have let go of the pain that makes it difficult to continue your life.